Letting go of control is not as easy for me as it once was. Seems the older I get, the more I find that I LIKE to be somewhat in control of my surroundings... helps me to better focus and accomplish tasks. You know - simple, obvious things like forks go in the "fork" slot of the dishwasher - spoons, likewise - makes unloading the dishwasher quicker and easier, don'tcha think?
So... today hasn't been an easy one for me. First day back at school for the kids. Nervewracking on so many levels, but especially for me as this is the first time my beautiful, one-handed daughter is riding the middle school bus. Prior to this I have always driven her to school. So letting go now isn't natural to me. She, of course, is all excited about it. Me? Not so much. All I can think of is the endless number of idiots and moronic behaviors I was exposed to throughout all those years of school bus riding back in my own youth. The obscene graffiti on the back of the bus seats. The waste-oid kids smoking cigarette & dope in the back of the bus. The screaming and yelling. The noxious fumes and occasional scent of vomit. Uggh! Bus riding was definitely not something I enjoyed as a kid. But since we only had one car - and dad used it for work - it was a necessary evil. However, I digress...
So, we were told by the transportation powers-that-be to be out there at the bus stop waiting, bright and early. Which (due only, I'm sure, to first day excitement jitters, we were.). Needlessly. Despite my having called and confirmed times and pick up info. several days prior, no bus ever showed up! I ended up taking her the short distance myself. No biggie - I actually enjoy doing it, but wanted her to have the option of bus riding available for those days when my busy schedule doesn't make it a viable option. So, I called the transportation people once again and ripped into them. I've been told that the bus WILL be there tomorrow morning. We shall see.....
As far as my son goes, other than a brief stint in 6th grade at public school, he has been homeschooled most of his life. Not because he couldn't cut it in the public schools - but because he is more mature and intelligent than most of his peers, with an insatiable curiosity about life and learning - one of those rare creatures who actually loves to learn (He's currently reading Dante's "Inferno" - of his own volition, for pleasure!). We didn't want to tamper that enthusiasm of his by forcing him into a "cookie-cutter" one-size-fits-all education at an early age. Plus, I liked taking various educational trips to Europe with him throughout the school year. The kid loves his museums! For homeschooling we used various curriculums at home, with the past 2 years having him do a virtual school program online, which still gave us a lot of schedule flexibility. He's the self-directed sort of kid who does well with that kind of stuff. Anyway, it worked out well for us - he's a straight "A" kid. But for this year, his freshman high school year, he wanted to try a brick and mortar school again - just to see what, if anything, he's missing out on. So, of course, we let him. The distance and location of the school necessitated his also riding the school bus. A minimum 50 minute ride! At least the high school bus comes at a much more reasonable hour than the middle school one, although that means it will probably be dropping him off when it's almost dark during the winter months. Can't win, I guess.
So here I sit now - with no one but the dog for company (stupid cat hates me and would never dream of coming within a mile of my vicinity - unless she's hungry, of course). It's a strange feeling - no kids around. No t.v. droning in the background. No stupid video game sounds. No BICKERING! Whatever shall I do with myself these few short hours before daughter arrives home from middle school? Not enough time to really go into town and do much before needing to get back here to meet her bus. I *could* clean - and Lord knows this place needs it. Nah..! I think today I am just going to sit here, stare out the window, putz around on the computer or read a book and marvel at the unaccustomed sound of silence. The new diet/exercise plan can start next week!
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